Our suggestions for Wal-Mart Wine

There's an email wandering around the email passageways of the web that looks like this :

Wal-Mart Wine

Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2010, it will begin offering customers a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas . "But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I already know that possum is not a white meat.

So we thought that the names were cute but we could do better. How about :

1. Chateau'ed expectations
2. White Wifebeater
3. Windex Wallop
4. Trailer tipple
5. Sam Walton’s Famous Fighting Wine
6. Wal-Mart Wine N’ Cheese: All the goodness of B-Grade Wisconsin Red infused with American Processed Cheese food
7. Wal-White. Now in our patented 10 gallon box.
8. Sham-pain
9. Sam’s Red. A wine, a cologne and a household cleaner all in one.
10. And from our beer selection: Mullet-Brau.